Grieving can be a practice of learning to “let go” or “releasing what is not needed.”
Cultivating a container of lightness as well as having gentle compassion towards oneself is a thread in the perfect weave of a rich smooth life.
How do we lighten up and stay real? “By taking that attitude towards one’s practice (meditation or the practice of staying mindful) and one’s life, by taking that more gentle and appreciative attitude toward oneself and others, the sense of burden that all of us carry around begins to decrease,” says Pema Chödrön, an American Buddhist nun.
Another slogan of Pema Chödrön’s is, “Abandon any hope of fruition.”
“One of the most powerful teachings of Buddhist tradition is that as long as you are wishing for things to change, they never will. As long as you’re wanting yourself to get better, you won’t. As long as you have an orientation towards the future, you can never just relax into what you already have or already are. One of the deepest habitual patterns that we have is to feel that now is not good enough.”
Does this sound true for you?
This paragraph is talking about how to be present and mindful, not about setting goals and making plans.
The more present that we are, the easier it is to notice when we are reaching for something or feeling bad because we did not achieve something.
Once we notice this then we can let it go… Release it.
This newsletter is about ways of noticing our grief. Grief of holding on to things or feelings about a person or event.
If we let go then we would feel……….? Ask this question.
What would I lose if I let this go, or I let myself feel the grief and anger that comes up that I do not know what to do with. Wow! So great to notice this.
Noticing what stage of grief you are in is a good start.
Let’s not get stuck in the top four stages of grief.
The six stages are (we added a sixth one):
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Sadness or depression
5. Acceptance
6. Meaning
Use whatever tools that you have to move through these stages in your mood of lightness and letting go. There is a thread of grief in much of our angst in this life. Pause and ask the right question: If this doesn’t happen or if I let go of this, what will I feel?
